For my entire life I have had no friends. Well, there was one time in my life. I had some in high school but that seems so far away now as I keep getting older and older.

Anyway, I’ve been stuck in community college because I didn’t get high enough grades in high school therefore I have to work my way up and transfer. I have finished all the classes except those in math and science. I am stuck doing remedial math courses because the community college has such a strict assessment test that is required in order to attend. I can’t pass it, I’ve tried so many times. So, I’m stuck doing remedial math. These classes have some of the most strict teachers I’ve ever seen and it took me 4 times just to pass Algebra 1. I am now taking Algebra 2 and I am failing it. At this rate, being able to go to the college I wanted to so long ago seems so far away. I am going to be an old and bitter man by the time I get there.

I don’t understand it either. Even though I did Algebra 1 and 2 in high school, they will not let me take any regular level classes until I either pass their remedial classes (or score well enough on their computerized assessment test of instant 1 mistake death) which are even harder than they were in high school.

I can’t take any other classes unless I either pass the assessment or finish both Algebra 1 and 2 (which is taking forever for me to do). They all require either one of the two conditions to be met as a prerequisite.

So I’m stuck here living with my mom trying to pass these classes which are getting me nowhere.

I remember when I was younger, I dreamed of going to a big university and all the cool things I’d do and all the people I would meet, hell I even thought of partying it up even though that’s not really the way I am. I never expected to be 21 (soon enough 22) and still trying to pass remedial math at community college.

I just feel so alone too. I’m stuck here with nobody to talk to. All of my friends have all gone to university or graduated. Had I done better in school, I could’ve probably joined them (some are still on my facebook going to local universities) . I keep getting older and older and it just gets worse. I never really thought much about it when I was younger, that is about making friends and such although at times it just happened. I’ve tried joining clubs and meeting people at the community college but the people there are mostly adults who have kids, people with low expectations/aspirations, and well, lots of foreigners, people from India/Pakistan mostly, and other types of people to that effect. That’s not the only thing, people all keep to themselves in this college. Everyone just seems to be there to do the work and come home. It’s not really the most social place to be (even the student clubs don’t meet or talk that much). I sometimes feel out of place there with all the adult students and such (although at this rate, I’m probably going to become old too, how depressing…)

I just want to get out of here. I’m tired of living here. I try so damn hard to pass these math classes and I end up falling short each time. I’m tired of it. I don’t want to be in this school anymore. I don’t want to live here, I want to be on my own and not live with my mom. I want to be in a university and experience life there on my own with other students my age, hell go freakin party it up or something that would feel great right now (although I don’t drink, but you know what screw that I’d be willing to I mean… that would feel really good right now). Ugh I’m talking too much again..